Free My Love

 1:11

are you really happy, my love? maybe you prefer the freedom, my absence. but the same things still keep you up at night, don't they? you're still struggling to find yourself. that i'm quite sure of. and still lost. and still hurting. which makes me sad. i do wish i'm wrong... what's going to happen to us? eventually? how does this ending look like? there really isn't a waking (or even sleeping) moment that i don't miss you.

no response, is a response i suppose. and we can't make people choose us, even if they love us. right? i'm glad you bothered to inform me that you've received my parcel. post office tracking really sucks - it still says undelivered on the app i downloaded (solely for this purpose). to think i paid for tracking. it's probably a surmountable amount of effort from you, but i hope you actually read the letter. and digest it. and process it. and say hi back soon. for the record, i might be staying away. but if you ever tell me you need me, i hope you know i'll fly back. even if it's a 3am text, and i can't get a cab, i would walk over just to be there. 

oh God, why am i suffering. in fact, feels like i am prolonging my own suffering and encouraging it by purchasing uworld for 90 days. i must admit, it is really useful. i would rave about it the same way other subscribers have. the explanations are clear and precise. for once, i can understand the main points of the passage and question. it's still guidance though since i'm getting so many Xs and spending about 10-15mins reading and digesting the process of deriving the answers. also been buying my productivity, again, at starbucks. stillness of the library doesn't do good to my internal motor. i still cannot fully comprehend WHY it moves the way it does.