memory dissonance

 Feels like I have been parking myself at the library 5eva, yet I also feel like I have no recollection of my time at the library. What have I been doing for the last 50 odd days?! I know I started more serious studying after giving myself a two week break. BUT, it somehow doesn't translate to how much I have managed to cover, OR how much I actually retain. CRIES.

Although I must admit that when I'm in the zone, it feels like I can do this and I'm on the right track. My focus has been better and I have been feeling less sleepy after I cut my medications. I guess my poor sleep correlates to memory retention...? Funny how I have been relying less on medikinet and even caffeine. I guess that's somewhat proof that what the mind wants, the mind gets. It does take a tremendous amount of effort, which exhausts me :( 

In any case, I only have 1.25 days and I'm not sure how much I can scramble to uptake. CRIES. Ok, I can do this. I've got this.