Courage is dangerous

 

Better to have nothing left, than to be where nothing’s right. 

So I’m packing my old clothes today and reluctantly throwing what I can’t wear/ don’t need anymore. The only way I could convince myself is: if I’m dead, they will be thrown away anyway. So I’ll probably take photos and then junk them… with a heavy heart. 

Side note, I have bras that remind me how my chest have grown over the years. It’s rather funny actually. From A75 (secondary) to B70 (polytechnic), then B75 (just after graduation and before entering University), to C75 (mid university), and now… 

I hate packing because it’s mentally exhausting to deal with my memories. And I’m so fearful of forgetting so I just wanna keep all my stuff… But we all need to move forward, and stop looking back! 

Side side note: yesterday EC said “guo2da4’s girlfriend”… and I think he was referring to M. To be honest, it’s not like I expect M to be single after so long right. Hahah, it’s not possible. It’s just that even after he contacted me he never said and I don’t intend to ask because it’s not my place to. Whether it be one new girlfriend, or many strings of others on the side, it doesn’t matter. (At least I’m trying to convince myself to not allow it to matter or affect me.) Because if it’s meant to be, whatever or whoever needs to come back will come back. And whatever or whoever is not meant to be will never. I could pray and beg and cry, it wouldn’t bring anything or anyone back. So instead of spending my time and energy thinking and being upset or anxious about it, I will do my own thing. You’ve got this, bee.